Monday, March 08, 2010

Mommytime Monday - Are You Going to Have More Kids?

How many times have you been asked if you planned on having any more kids?

It seems like as soon as a couple gets married everyone starts asking them when they are going to have children. When you do decide to have children the questions seem to stop, but only while you are pregnant. It seems as soon as the baby arrives people start to question "When are you going to give this beautiful baby a brother or sister?" Sometimes the children themselves start asking if they can have a brother or sister.

Deciding to have a child or children is a highly personal decision that should be made by a husband and wife. Unfortunately, some people feel it is perfectly okay to ask the intimate details of others' personal relationships. They seem perfectly clueless that this issue is really none of their business.

While there is little you can do to completely stop all the very personal questions; you can stop them in their tracks politely from asking further questions.

Here are a couple things you can tell your nosy friends, family and acquaintances.

If you and your partner haven't decided whether to have children in the future you can say:
"Actually we are quite happy the way things are now."
"When and If we decide to have (more) children you will be the one of the first to know." This helps whomever is asking to feel in the loop.

If you feel the person was being overly personal or nosy you can tell them:
"Boy, that's a very personal question." and then change the subject.
Return with a question about them such as "How many kids do you have and why did you stop at that number?" Don't do this unless you really don't want to know the answer or you want to change the center of attention to them and off yourself.

The easiest way to show you are uncomfortable answering is to completely ignore the question. Just end the conversation or change the subject. It really is none of their business whether you and your partner decide to have a child.

Hopefully this will help stop the questions from the people you see most often.

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